He heals the brokenhearted and bandages their wounds. - Psalm 147:3 NLT
Navigating the next steps after surviving abuse can seem daunting, but know that healing is possible and available for you. God wants to mend all the places within you that have been hurt. He wants to make you new and set you on a trajectory of abundant life. It will take time, but day by day, God will lead you in the journey of recovering.
Here are some tips and things to remember as you step onto the path toward healing.
1. Your abuse and wounds do not define you.
The words spoken over you or the actions taken against you do not have the final say. You are a beloved child of the highest King. Your identity is not in your spouse, boss, coworker, or family member, but in Christ alone—and He loves you more completely than you could possibly comprehend. He is deeply grieved by your pain and the way people have mistreated you, but know that those things do not make you any less worthy of His love. First Peter 2:9 says you are “God’s very own possession” (NLT). You are chosen by the Creator of the universe. Allow God’s eternal, irrevocable love to sink into your very being.
2. Healing from abuse is a messy process.
No two healing processes will look the same, so have grace for your own. Don’t compare your situation or your healing to anyone else’s. As you move through this process, your emotions will probably be all over the place—anger one minute, sadness the next, shame after that. Hear this: It’s okay. It’s all a part of the process of healing. Give all these feelings to your good Father. He doesn’t rush you out of them. So take time to grieve, but don’t give in to despair. God is with you in every single moment, healing your heart and restoring your mind.
3. Rebuilding trust will take time.
It’s important to understand that building safe, trust-filled relationships after you’ve gone through abuse will take time. Because when you’ve given your trust to someone and they use that trust to dominate, overpower, or manipulate you, the natural response is to become fearful, avoidant, and mistrustful of any kind of relationship. It may be tempting to shut everyone out and try to heal on your own, but trust the process and don’t give up. God often uses others to help heal us. Let people in—the right people, who will encourage you, listen to you, build you up, and love you as Christ loves you.
4. Get professional help.
If you find that the pain you’ve gone through and the damage it’s caused are more than you’re capable of handling on your own, it may be time to reach out to a Christian counselor. There is absolutely no shame in seeking professional help; healing can take place through many different methods. These counselors are fully trained and equipped to deal with all kinds of abuse cases.
5. Work towards forgiveness.
The choice to forgive is hard, but it will place you on a path closer to healing. There is a freedom that comes from forgiving those who have hurt us that can’t come through any other means. When you’re obedient to the call to forgive, the Holy Spirit will empower you to release the anger and hurt you feel even if you don’t think you have the strength to do it on your own. Just remember that forgiving someone does not mean you have to reconcile or keep them in your life, nor does it mean that you’re condoning their actions. Forgiveness is about freeing yourself from the weight of harboring bitterness and asking the Lord to work in the life of the one you’re forgiving. If it’s safer for your mental and physical wellbeing to remove yourself from the situation or person completely after you’ve forgiven them, you can and should do so without guilt.
If you’d like to talk to a pastor, Call Our Pastoral Care Team.
Next Steps
1. If you haven’t already, call a trusted friend and start sharing your story of abuse. We begin to heal by bringing our struggles into the light.
2. What lies do you believe about yourself or your experiences? Replace those lies with the truth of God’s Word. Here are some Scripture verses and prayers to pray.
